I have a tendency to keep to myself and stay in my own little world. I learned early that it was safer and easier, or so I thought. If I didn't get to close to people, I couldn't get hurt and if I kept to myself I didn't have to deal with their problems. I was also taught things like "blood is thicker than water" (friends are not important), "charity starts at home" and "you worry about you"( who cares about anyone else).
Reaching out to people and getting to know them and letting them get to know you can be very scary and difficult, but remaining isolated is extremely lonely and destructive. I believe being a loner contributed to my divorce with my first husband. I was afraid to tell anyone I was having problems and I refused to get help. The attitude that I didn't need anyone led to suicidal fantasies, a psychiatrist, medication and a divorce.
I'm not where I should be, but I'm not where I was. It takes practice to trust and love others, but with faith in Christ and support in a Christian community, it gets easier. Reaching out, helping others, and letting them help you is actually very rewarding.
This poem, taken from The Magnificat, reminds me that to love is God's command and our blessing.
Prayer to Grow in Love
Beloved, let us love: for love is of God;
In God alone love has its true abode.
Beloved, let us love: for those who love,
They only are his children from above.
Beloved, let us love: for love is rest,
And those who do not love cannot be blessed.
Beloved, let us love: for love is light,
And those who do not love still live in night.
Beloved, let us love: for only thus
Shall we see God, the Lord, who first loved us.
Suzanne
