* Friends - Thank you for the emails and phone calls acknowledging our loss and offering condolences, that was really thoughtful of you and greatly appreciated. Today I can write about it. Yesterday the Strickland children experienced real loss for the first time. I was outside helping a friend unload some wood when Rachel came screaming out of the house. “Mom, Jubbies is dead!!”. What followed in the next 20 minutes was truly heartbreaking as Rachel tried to come to grips with the reality of it. Had I wanted to leave her side for a minute the rest of the evening, she wouldn’t have let me. Through the evening and well into the morning we all experienced to one degree or another, the heartache of losing this little animal friend with no warning. We skipped Rachel’s first soccer practice of the year and attended Kyle’s game together because we just needed family time. When we returned home we put some shavings and one of Jubs’ favorite things in the box with her and took her outside. Rachel picked the spot, Sonny dug the hole, Rachel placed her in and we all said some words about her. We left Sonny to finish and went back inside. Gavin fashioned twigs together to mark the spot. Kyle in his quiet way wondered why we had to bury her at all because then we’d never be able to see her and I explained just enough about the process so he could understand. Both the boys had some well-disguised tears. Nobody’s grief was as vocal as Rachel’s. We all understood her unique bond with Jubs and all knew she was entitled to whatever she was feeling, however she needed to express it. As she drifted off into a sobbing sleep she thanked me for “going through all this with me, Mom”. At the end of the day I was able to have a moment with each of the boys and acknowledge their loss as well. At the very end of the day I was able to grieve by myself. I kept reminding myself this was “only a hamster” but I couldn’t discount the effect this creature had on the entire family. Relationships were strengthened with a common “little one” to care for. She was loved by all. She was Rachel’s “best animal friend in the whole world” and as Gavin said, “She made me feel better when I held her.” Entire evenings revolved around her antics. Sometimes, after the kids were in bed Sonny and I would take her out and spend some 'quality time' with her. I found great enjoyment in rediscovering a long dormant passion for writing as The Hamster Diaries shared our pet owning experience with friends and family. I was looking forward to writing more but I think my initial assessment of Jub Jubs may have been correct; she was probably a lot older than Salesman led us to believe and it was just her time. At any rate, every one of us got from her what he needed, we're all a little richer because of it and with that I believe Jub Jubs achieved her full measure as a hamster. Thank you for enjoying her with us.
Love, Carol
